Day by day

New Faces, New City, Same Jesus

2009-11-19T07:57:00.004-04:00

So I'm living in Fredericton NB, I'm working in a totally different type of ministry then I was when I was living in Hamilton Ont. but when it's all said and done there is one consistentcy in my life that hasn't changed but remained faithful and that's who Jesus is, what He has done for me and what he is doing today in my life and the lives of those around me.

I work for Bridges of Canada at their Victory Center, it's an addictions center found here in the Maritimes. I live and work at the center, mainly doing the night shift so it's living in community again. It's funny how God keeps bringing me into places of Community, and since it's community with Christ at it's center, you could almost say it's church.

So basically I'm here to help organize supper, facilitate evening courses, be an example of what it is to live for Christ, and to make sure people follow the rules. Sometimes this goes smoothly, but many times there are all kinds of speed bumps, a rocky road which has God's Grace in each moment of every day. It isn't anything like working with kids, and there is more then one day a week I really miss what I was doing in Hamilton, but God put me here, I was called here, and this is where I have to focus so it's been difficult but most change is difficult.

That's why i'm really thankful for Jesus and the fact that he's the same today, yesterday and tomorrow. So, if you think of me, pray for the changes going on in my life, pray for the people I interact with and pray for God's Footprints to be in our lives.

who do i think Jesus is?

2009-09-08T23:31:00.002-04:00

So it's been a long while since i posted anything, and mainly that's because of Facebook, but it's also because i've been busy living and working within a congregation setting. Which is interesting cause i tried to get them involved in what I believed was ways to connect and build community. I realized that there were alot of people with ideas, but no one wanted to step out of the boat, well almost no one. Basically, i also came to see that if we get busy with stuff, or if we focus on the issues and not on Jesus, then it doesn't matter what we do cause if we don't have love in it, we don't have Jesus at the center then it's not worth doing.
I no longer work in a congregation setting and really i'm looking for where I belong in the body. I know what i'm called to do, and I know Jesus and who he is to me as Salvation, As King, as Redeemer, as Servant Leader, but when it comes to friend , well that's still a work in progress, and a big part of that is what i define as church; not just the body on whole but the part of the body where I feel safe to worship, the place where I feel safe to share, the place where I feel safe to live my life in my relationship with Jesus but also with those walking beside me and with me.
I don't think that's the church setting of mainline church, mainline religion, I believe it's more organic and much simpler and more community based then sitting in pews and all looking forward . I think its more about sitting in a circle or better yet a living room, or much better yet, sitting around a table sharing a meal, bread, wine, and meat while laughing , crying and sharing about the real meat The Word of God and how He lives in our lives.

Who is Jesus to me? Jesus is my friend, he's my neighbour, he's the people I grow to love through the hardship of building relationships and sharing what life is. Jesus is my God, but he's more then that, he's a part of me and he's a part of what i want to become.
He's the process in my life that shines, and he's growing in me more everyday , which takes work , sweat, tears, and time alone praying as well as time in the midst of struggling with daily life.
I'm learning each day what that means; Who is Jesus to me?

City Kidz

2009-02-21T22:38:00.002-04:00

okay, so I have been a volunteer with City Kidz (CK) since last Sept, and I began my time on Carrey Gillard's bus , bus 82. I will miss the kids on this bus, but I've been transfered over to bus 72 which is the bus that picks up kids in the neighbourhood adjacent to the church that I work at as an evangelist and youth pastor. So, knowing the way God works, this is truly a blessing. Today , while waiting to register for the team meeting, this lady named Gaberial joins the line behind me and asks what bus I'm on, when i share its 72, well she's the new bus captain and again, in a God instance I've met my new Bus Captain. As we the day goes on , I found out she know's Carrey and after sharing for awhile, she asks if I will be her Co-Captain. Again , God is working to bring connections for our church and the community around us. I'm always amazed in the details he brings in his plans, as long as we are willing to listen he will direct us on a really cool journey.
2 weeks till CK starts back up, whoohoo!!!

My Appartment, my home, my life

2008-12-10T13:50:00.005-04:00

Okay, its like been along while since i've posted, I appologize. So I live in Hamilton, Ont now, and I work for the Church of St Peter as their outreach/youth co-ordinator. Basically I help lead youth group and I create opportunities to do outreach with the church in the surrounding community.
I also network through a number of other parachurch programs and part of that is by volunteering time at some of them. The 2 major ones are City Kidz www.citykidz.ca and through an emergency food bank and clothing store www.thehamiltondreamcenter.org
Both are great ways to connect with the community, and are worth the time and effort put out to be there.
The video I'm loading describes my home, my appartment, and its warm and cozy , a nice place to come home to after along day.
Also , another benefit to being here is that I'm now really close to my cottage, it is only a couple of hours north of here and I'm hoping to get some quality time up there this summer. OPC is also not far away, and after Christmas I will be going up for a visit as well as taking my youth up to the camp during March Break.
Hope all are well, I miss people from down east , yet I know God's got me here doing some building for His Kingdom and that fills my heart.
Hope you enjoy the video!
technical problems uploading,

Hamilton

2008-09-18T21:06:00.000-04:00

Okay, I haven't got my camera hooked up or even unpacked yet, and I'm still working on having internet so it might be abit before I can put up any pics, but i'm in Hamilton, I've got a place on Barnesdale and Somerset and I start moving in tomorrow. First I have a men's Breakfast at Joshua Center to go to and then begin with a new home.
Hamilton has changed alot over the last 20 years, not the same town I visited when I was a kid, I'm excited to see what God's doing here, what I've seen so far in street ministries and kids ministries in the city , it's looking to be awesome.

Who is Responsible?

2008-09-05T07:52:00.003-04:00

The week before Labourday weekend, I was at a camp over on Deer Island, New Brunswick and I couldn't believe all the garbage that was washed up on the shore and floating out in the bay. It was the remains of a Salmon Farm that looks to have gone Belly up. The pictures above are not that farm, unfortunately I didn't have my Camera with me to take photo's. But I was shocked that no one has cleaned the site up, it has been there since the winter, and when I looked into it I found out that this isn't uncommon. I haven't any problem with Aquaculture but I do have a problem with the fact that no one seems to have responsibilities to clean up there crap. I used to work in the forest industry and there are now stiff fines if you leave anything at the sight after your done logging. So who's Responsible for cleaning up and why isn't the Government doing anything about it?

The Link above is to fisheries, and you can email the fisheries minister and voice your concerns about this.

The Garden: a place of growth and a place of peace

2008-06-09T19:08:00.003-04:00

So the above pictures are from our garden at McKim House. Last fall Zerox came in and redid our garden beds and then in the fall, on what semi cool Saturday we the house went out and planted about 12 boxes of bulbs and wham, all these flowers bloomed in late May. It was great cause it was a labour of love, done in love, with the help of love, it was so a reminder of how good God is in our lives. I like gardening, its peaceful and it gets you out of the house, and with alot of nuturing and tenderness you can get results that show that the love works. Just like our house, McKim house and L'Arche for that matter are all about God's Love and with alot of sweat and tears you see results that bring more tears and an inner-joy.

I've started a tiny vegetable garden in our yard, and Pat has agreed to water it twice a week, so hopefully we will get eatens in the fall from it. Did I mention that we love to have people over to visit for a cup of java, a tea or a cool drink. We are thinking about doing a couple of community bbq's and open house, cause we want to get to know our outer community better.

Drop me a line and we will work out a time to come visit , maybe we can have a garden party, I know Debbie would love the chance to share tea and bisquits with you.

Spending quality time

2008-03-31T08:20:00.002-04:00

Since coming to L'arche, I've really come to know what it means to enjoy moments of time when I can relax. For time is something you really give up at L'Arche, you put all your time into others lives so that they may experience life. Well you try to put all your time, really there are moments when you feel selfish and want to take time for yourself, and that's human. On the weekend, I took my 3 hours of personal time and went out with my friend Ryan to Irving Nature Park and went geo-caching, I've never done that before, it was interesting, Ryan almost stuck his hand down this hole where a porcupine was making its home, close encounter with the wild kind, but in the end we found this tupper wear container full of stuff and added a note about our adventure. It was a good outing, where I was able to focus on something other then work, and got to hang with Ryan, who shared it was good to get out of residence and school, so for both of us it was a blessing, Thanks God!!!

Also, yesterday , I took two of the core members down to the beach at Irving Np and that too was some good quality time, we spent a few minutes down by the water looking out across the bay, listening to the waves, skipping stones, and feeling the warmth of the sun on our faces. It will be good for McKim House when the weather warms up alittle, more outings and not feeling like hens couped up in a chicken house.

Basically alot of my free time is taken up at INP, especially by the beach where I sit and take in God's creation while either going for hikes, or reading the Word or another book of interest.

The common denominator in all this is time and really the beach. The beach and in saying so the water I find soothing, i'm able to let all of life's crap and stresses go, and just relax and listen to the ocean as it meets the shore. The time, well its moments of peace in which I'm learning to appreciate much more.

I will also be glad to have warmer weather, and chances to get out and enjoy it, I like winter, i like winter sports, its just that alot of that happens outside the city, and unfortunetly that kinda time I didn't get alot of so warm weather opens up more possibilities in the city.

In Memory of my Puppy Dog: Tasha

2008-03-17T22:47:00.004-04:00

So , tonight I found out some sad news. I will start at the beginning, about a year after I moved to Sussex, I was asked by my friend Adam McComb if I wanted a dog. I said sure, and he gave me this little female puppy who I was told was a mix between a lab and a terrier. We named her Natasha after one of Adam's ex-girlfriends, I ended up calling her just Tasha. She was great at chasing Mice, and she loved the water, when she was young you could see her paws were webbed like a labs.

Tasha was with me when I lived on Grey Rd in Penobsquis, she was with me when I lost my licence for drinking and driving, I was more worried for her then about my being arrested (I knew what I did was stupid, and I was paying the price for that, but I didn't want to loose my puppy.) She lived with me in the sugar bush, then out to MillBrook rd, and then to Crawford Lake, where we spent many a days hiking in the woods, working in the woods, she would go everywhere with me. She has been to my cottage in Ontario, to both my sisters places and my brothers. When I sold my sugar camp and house , she moved to Adairs Lodge and Cabins with me, and when I went to Taylor College, she stayed with the Phinney's (where she touched alot of kids hearts, as she loved to play with kids and adults alike, especially fetch.) I know she was close to the Phinney's as well as to the Parson's , especially David , thanks for playing ball with her all those times.

When I went back to school and knew I was going into full time ministry, it was apparent that I wouldn't be able to keep tasha so she went and moved in with my sister Mary and their family where she has lived happily since 2003. I loved my puppy, and I will really miss her. She has had a good life though, since 1994 when i got her and she was 6 months old, till March 17, 2008.

14 good years where she has touched alot of hearts.

So I hope she is in a good place, I know alot of people would say a dog doesn't have a soul, but I think that God is way more knowledgeable then you or me, and Tasha was much more his then mine. That's all I'm going to say, that and she will always have a place in my heart.

I was thinking about Tasha last night as I cried myself to sleep: Yes, that's right I cried alot, I"m not ashamed to admit, that I loved my Dog as much as I love a family member, and I do love my family! Anyways, I was thinking about how she used to go down to the dock when no one would play ball with her. She would sit down by the end of the dock, chew on her tennis ball, and then with her nose, and sometimes her paw, she would push the ball off the dock and into the water. she then proceeded to watch it till it floated alittle distance away from the dock, and splash , she would jump in and retrieve it, and go back up to the dock and chew for awhile till she was ready to go back in and get the ball.

Tasha was a very smart Dog!

the puzzle

2008-03-03T10:56:00.004-04:00

Okay, so lately i've been finding that my life feels like a puzzle, that i've found many of the pieces for and have put them together, yet some are still missing and some just aren't in the right place.

The picture of the puzzle is a good visual cause its not just a puzzle but mirror showing a distorted view which makes sense since I don't have all the pieces to fit it together. (It's a good thing I have faith in Christ, cause I would go crazy if I had to do this alone!!)

The Pathways and Pitfalls, well there you go a discription of life with its walkways, short cuts, snake pits, ladders, stops, yields, accidents, awards, benefits, more then one way to go..... Question is which way?????

Yet just when you think you've figured it out Wham!!!!!!! You step on the stupid banana peel and full on your bum....

The funniest part is just when you think you've figured out a huge part of the puzzle, you find something missing, and then your questioning what your to do, your at that Crossroad that continues to come up in life.

I found that when I hit a huge crossroad, Jesus came into my life, so that now , no matter what road I take, I know he's got my back and that in the long haul I'm going to be okay. Though I admit, that choosing the road is really still kinda scarry, especially when you have no idea what it might look like at all.

I'm coming up to one of those crossroads in the end of June, as my contract with L'Arche will be up and I'm not sure what I will be doing??? I know what I want to do, I want to be involved in a ministry that is helping people put their lives back together and encouraging them to do it with help, prayer, and walking along side them just like Jesus does for us. The question is where will I be doing it???

That's one of those missing pieces of the puzzle. Another part of said puzzle, is right now, its trying to figure out a way to make changes much easier to cope with for some very special people who are in my life right now. Having a supportive structure that will be there no matter what. Yes, I know that sounds like Jesus, yet to apply this to their lives isn't easy, its the puzzle i'm working on.

So where are you on your puzzle, and who do you find is inspiring you to keep up in Hope, in Faith, and in Living your Life for what you Believe in?

Being Broken

2008-01-15T09:13:00.000-04:00

You know, I look at this picture and part of me likes to think this is what life is like, that when people look at me, when people know me they find they are looking through me and seeing a really peaceful, pleasent picture. Unfortunately life isn't an easy walk, its much more likely that when they look at me they see the Brick.

The brick, looks solid, though its full of holes where I'm trying to be transparent, yet the crap in life has made its mark and that has brought hardness into my heart, into my life, and had changed me, hence the brokenness.

Since coming to Christ, I have tried to become more transparent, so that when people get to know me they don't find a lump of clay that doesn't want to be bothered by anyone but they find someone who is open to growth. The window says it all (yes, I like using images, i find they speak volumes.)

A window is something that is supposed to show the view but keep out the weather, which is what I think I have tried in the past to be as a transparent person. Yet God wants more, he wants the weather to be in my life cause that's what builds character.

Romans 5:1-5 1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a]have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we[b] rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we[c] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Just before I went to Antigonish to help out with the L'Arche community there I was given a gift through the Holy Spirit. Usually we enjoy getting gifts, yet this was a difficult gift to recieve. Being an Assistant at L'Arche means living in community, which means living in close relationship with alot of people. If anyone has lived in close community you will have likely experienced the difficulties that can be there as you try to live out that life in love.

Well the New Year brought with it, new stresses, new challenges, and for me a renewed point about a flaw in my character. We had a formation meeting , and during this time we shared how each of us feels and where it is difficult with others. I found that a re-occuring theme from my past was in this time, something I have had struggles with all my life. Some point in my past I had become quite emotional and my actions seem to be transparent to the point that I reflect what I'm feeling, which isn't always the most healthy choice in community. This hits the core of my heart, for its basically part of who I am, and yet its something that has to change, and hopefully through God's Grace and through Jesus's Love my heart will be reformed where this broken piece has been sitting for so long.

I believe that this is the Gift that I have been given, My Lord and God has revealed a huge place in my heart where there is a broken shard of Glass that needs to come out. If I choose to allow Him to fix it then I will be much stronger in my faith, and Hopefully alot more like Christ.

The other Gift I received was having the opportunity to live at L'Arche, and experience the Living God through so many people. You know my life doesn't look like the Window at the top of the page, really it looks more like the picture at the bottom of this page.

I Love Jesus so much, and I'm so thankful that My Father in Heaven has brought the Holy Spirit into my life.

Happy New Year.

Which is your favourite sled?

2007-12-02T11:50:00.000-04:00

So, Above are some of the more popular sleds, carpets, discs for sliding: I want to know which is your favorite and why?

I love the wooden tobogan, its fast, and tends to slide in almost any snow condition, plus its as old as I am :0), if not older......

Running the Race Vrs Being a Slug

2007-11-26T10:23:00.000-04:00

So, yesterday for me was a day where i was in a space, it wasn't a nice space, it was one of those times when my mood was not of joy, not of anger, but just in a slug slimed kinda place. I don't know if you have ever had one of those, where your just getting through your day, you figure your not being cross so your not really affecting anyone yet, just like a slug you have left this slime trail where you've been. One of my friends asked me how i was doing a couple times during the day, and I said i was okay the first time, and the 2nd, but the 3rd I admitted that i was kinda in a slump.

I think about camp and its high ropes course, I didn't have a good pic of it so I impervised, but its a good description of what I think we find in a day. The apostle Paul says we are running a race, I like to think of it as an obstacle course. Through out our days there are people. items, events, moods, challenges placed in our path, and our choice to deal with those challenges effects who we are. That effects how we will be with other people. Yesterday, I was kind of in a crappy place, basically I didn't spend time in the Word for the last week or so and I think yesterday was the result of that. Instead of choosing to look to God for the answers I thought about places i've been in the past.

Which is funny, cause when we do that we always look at the good parts and forget about the struggles we had in which ever events or jobs we might have had. Along with struggling through an obstacle course I also think of a Biathlon. I used to love to watch it during the winter olympics, and when i was a teenager, I used to do alot of Cross country Skiing and dreamed of competing in the Olympics in the Biathlon. (Then we moved to southern ont. , crappy snow conditions and chocolate resulted on becoming lazy....)

So, you may ask where i'm going with this, well as I see it the biathlon is about physical fitness and hitting the mark everytime you shoot. Sort of like being a Christian, no matter what's going on in our lives we need to try and keep on target , aiming at focus on God's Word which keeps my fitness in the Spirit strong. The ropes course, well that too is like life, for many times we feel like we are going to fall if we step out on the thin line and trust in God, yet just as on a ropes course there are safety nets/ harness to keep you from getting killed. The Holy Spirit is there to help us so that though we may feel scared, though we may struggle with some rough situations, God won't let us get burned, He will catch us if we fall. And through that challenge we will grow.

There are rules, basically we need to trust God, to have faith and to keep a focus in His Word, and when we slip or doubt or need guidance, well we should ask Jesus for Help. Prayer, not just in times of need but in times of joy and peace too.

I know when i'm slipping , cause those are the times i get lazy (eat chocolate, sit back , watche tv, just lay around) and in that laziness I forget or postpone reading the Word and Praying. How can I compete in the race if I'm getting fat and lazy?

So my question, doesn't need to be answered, But What's God saying to you in His Word today?

looking back , seeing where i'm at, and knowing where i'm heading

2007-11-25T10:07:00.000-04:00

Do you ever find yourself looking at where your at, where you were, and where you maybe in 10 years and wonder what parts got left behind, and why some of it really seems like it should still be in your life somewhere?

I used to be a forest technician and before that I did a small bit of time as a naturalist at a Park, taking people out and teaching them about nature. I've done it again since, as an outdoor ed intructor at a Christian Camp, and here's the bit I find strugglish. I have in my heart the need, the passion, the gut feeling to reach out to people and build relationships with them through the Grace and Love of God through Jesus Christ. Especially those who fall into the cracks of society, the people who don't fit in and struggle with life. Yet, at the same time I get times when I miss working in the outdoors, especially with working around wildlife and nature.

Now I know that i couldn't just give up evangelism and go back to Forestry cause i've actually tried to do that and it didn't work. I was like the apostle Peter. He was a fisherman, and after Jesus was crucified he tried to go back to fishing, it didn't work. Of course then Jesus was risen and He brought Peter into the direction that Peter was to take to become Fisherman of Men.

I know I wouldn't do well to go back into Forestry, and I believe I've a vision as to where I'm to go, its just the process of getting there. The big trick is to try and find a way to get alittle bit of the wildlife in my life as well as continue to reach out to people for the Lord.

At the moment that looks like bird feeders in our yard, which is okay, though we live in the city and the stupid pigeons are a problem. Anyways, basically I needed to print this out to help myself see where i'm at.

Peter and JC at the campfire cooking the fish, I love that image.

Extreme Makeover: The Heart Edition

2007-11-18T11:01:00.000-04:00

So, here I am again, looking at my heart. Way back, its funny, it seems like only awhile ago but in reality it was a year ago....

So where was I, oh yeah, last year when i came home from Ontario I started to look at who I am, what is it I'm missing in my walk with God?

I realized, that though I know Jesus, I'm still not that close to him, and I want to be alot closer, so I began to pray. I have been praying constantly "I want to Go deeper with You Lord!"

That has been my prayer, and being in a living relationship with God, well he tends to listen and answer prayer, maybe not always the way we like but if he did our lives would be so messed up.

Basically I went through a time of looking at who I am, what it is I do that's good and what I do that's not so good. The brick wall pic reminds me of a hole in my heart, a chunk of all the ugliness within me. So, going deeper with God is in fact allowing him to rebuild my heart, holmes on holmes style, even more so like a show a good friend has got me watching, its called "extreme makeover, home edition." Its about taking someones home and gutting it, actually more so not just gutting it but totally ripping it out and rebuilding from the foundation up, and its done to help repair hearts.

That to me, is what God's been doing, he has taken that dark and messed up heart of hurts, of insecurities, of failures, and he has ripped it out and started anew. Our hearts go deep , with roots from our past and overtime God will heal those roots of hurt, if we allow him too. That's what another friend said to me when I started at L'Arche, that if I allow God to change me he will, and this place, this home is a place where renovation of the heart happens.

I find lately that through all the chaos of a given day I can still find peace, a peace beyond all understanding, I need to focus on that, and focus on the Word of God. Which brings me to the picture of the lake, I find that the outdoors have always been a place where I find peace, and a place where I can always feel my Lord and God's presence, in reality there would be two chairs, one for me and one for Jesus. For when he's sitting beside me I'm at peace, so really the choice is for me to stay beside him. So as I look over this last year and what it looks like to go deeper with God I find that:

I have changed alot in this last year, and I know its not totally done, its a work in progress, that's been reforming me, and allowing me to experience much more of what Love is all about, what Love looks like, what love feels like, and how I have a responsibility to Love those who are in my life. This hasn't always been easy, just as living in L'Arche isn't always easy, though each day brings on another chunk of renovation, cause anything is possible on a L'Arche day, more so anything is possible on a Day with my Lord.

All I can say is Thankyou Jesus.

waiting and trusting in what you know

2007-10-20T09:42:00.000-04:00

This week has been a week about weakness for me. 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 " "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
With work much goes on when I'm not sure I can always handle it, or know if I can do it, or know what the right thing to say is, and through all of it I continually keep going to God's Word, continue to pray for guidance and most of all for strength and His Grace in my life and in the lives of those I live with and Love.
It has not been easy, nor do I believe it will get easier, but what I do know is that when I'm finding it difficult and get into spots where I need something more then i'm looking for strength from the one place it continues to come from and is like a fountain of spring water that never runs dry. God's Grace, His Spirit living in me.
When I used to make maple syrup, I would spend alot of time waiting for it to boil and then as it boiled I would wait for it to get to just the right temperature and consistency to draw it off and and bottle it. If I took it off to early, then it wouldn't be maple syrup and I would have to go through the long process of reheating it to get it to the point of having it become syrup. That would take alot of energy and time, extra time, which was something that would have to happen or the product would spoil and need to be thrown out. The same goes if you cook it to much, then it has a burnt taste and becomes spoiled, so if I didn't pay attention to the timing, to what the instruments were telling me I could ruin the batch.
It reminds me of my walk with the Lord, it is his timing and my life , like the sap has to go through the process which can be long and difficult but the final product is something to be cherished. If I don't pay attention to God, through prayer, by listening to Him and not reading his Word, then I to could get burnt and spoil. Fortunately his Grace kicks in and I can continue to grow, But there will be a time when that might not be possible for we don't know what tomorrow holds.
My hope is on today as I continue to look to His Word for guidance. How about you,
what 's God's Word saying to you, have you been waiting and listening?

The Beauty of it!

2007-10-07T22:17:00.000-04:00

Okay, well i was reading a friends blog and realized that i haven't done anything with mine lately and likely should. For those of you who use this to see what i'm doing, well i work at this place called L'Arche.

www.larche.ca/en/communities/nb/saint_john

Now the picture has nothing to do with L'Arche, more to do with me and this thanksgiving weekend, I love the fall its one of my favorite times of year, well this part of the fall. I went for a walk on Saturday, I went up to my old sugarbush. I was so shocked, there was a clearcut that went right up to the edge of the sugarbush, and in the bush, well that had changed so much. The cookhouse, the cabin, the shed for collection tanks was all gone, not any foundation left, and the piping in the woods was all broken and semi-burried.

It made me realize how much change has happened over the last 10 years, how life as well as I have changed. I'm not the same person as I was then, nor even the same person as I was in College. The beauty of God's creation is something to take hold of and to experience, not just the beauty that we see on a sunny day in the woods, but the beauty found on the street where people exchange lives, the beauty in homes where family, friends, and loved ones share, care, cry, laugh, hurt, and love each other is felt and seen. The beauty found where one person gives compassion and love towards another.

The beauty that's found as we look to the Cross and what it means in our lives.

I'm so Thankful for my family, for my friends, for my co-workers, for my home, for those i live with and for those I share a living life of God's Word with. Thankyou Lord for such Beauty in our lives, thankyou for my life.

my place of rest

2007-07-01T00:48:00.000-04:00

So I see this picture of the otter and it is how I feel when i'm off work, for at the moment i'm working alot, more then one job and doing some volunteer stuff on the side. So, when those breaks come i want to take full advantage of them, lately they have revolved around getting out to irving nature park, out on the beach , listening to the waves and chillaxing with friends, with nature and most of all with God.

I so love water and how it relaxes me , takes away alot of crap, well I think its mostly I start to relax and then I can pray and sit in my fathers lap and let him take all the stuff that has built up over the week.

I just want to thank my friends who give me opportunities to be able to get out and do that.

I really appreciate all of you.

Washing feet

2007-05-30T09:41:00.000-04:00

Hey there,
Well today starts a new day in the adventures of paul martin aka not the ex prime minister.
Today I start work at the Booth Residence for the Salvation Army, as a caregiver.
I must admit i'm alittle nervous, but I trust God and if this is where he's putting me then I must walk in the path he has laid out. Its mainly a servant ministry, trying to bring joy, encouragement and tending to the needs of those in long term care. I hope I will be able to do this with God's love, grace, and with a servants heart.
If you think of us, that is me and the residence, please pray that our Lord Jesus Christ will give us opportunities to grow in his love and that I will be able to find my place in all this.

Power of the Holy Spirit to bring change in our lives

2007-05-02T15:39:00.000-04:00

So, you might be wondering and asking: "Paul, what's with the brick and the waves?"

that's a good question, I was praying for TEC (Teens Encounter Christ) the other day, and in the middle of a worship time I had this vivid picture of a brick wall come up, that was old, and cracked with the moulder all cracked and breaking off. Then this huge wave came over it and just blasted the brick and moulder away.

Since then I have continued to see this wave, and lately as I did once a month ago, have a picture of a garden growing within the ruins of where the old wall was.

I know this is God showing his power, yet so much more, the brick and moulder is our old lives, and the wave of Living Water, the Holy Spirit, who fills us, works on bring about change, destroying the sin that was in our lives and birthing something new.

The Garden, is gone from seed to flowers, it has brought about life, and it brings about fruit, just as the Holy Spirit does as He works through our lives.

I'm excited for TEC, though I'm more excited for what God's got instore for all of us as we come to that place where we are filled with His Living Water.

Hope all are well.

Peaceful moments

2007-04-16T20:17:00.000-04:00

have you ever had one of those days when your just walking along and suddenly something your looking at brings back an instant memory of your past. I was coming home from work this afternoon and past this parkinglot, where there was a stream flowing down between it and the next parking lot over and wham!!! Next thing I knew I was 5 years old, hanging out with friends up by the old skating rink, we were making streams where the rain had melted the ice and snow, and then WHAM!!!Again my memory shifted to hanging out with friends down by the creek near my old house in Mont. St. Hilaire where I spent a good chunk of my life as a kid.and then there was a gentle shift in thought of going for walks with my dad in the evenings when the spring peepers were out. Suddenly i was back in the parking lot standing there looking at this stream of water trickle down through the grass and onto the pavement.Though the weather is wet, and alittle cold, I found that moment peaceful, kinda nice after a long day of serving coffee to many who were not in a place of peace. I'm so greatful for God giving me moments of peace in amongst the turmoil of a hectic day. Thankyou Lord!

summer time

2007-03-17T11:32:00.000-04:00

I'm at that point, where I can't wait for summer, longer days, warm, you can wear sandles and shorts. There is lots of activity, people out enjoying the weather, kids playing outside, and lots of green grass, leaves on trees, and flowers in gardens. Enough of the snow, let the warm weather come!!!!

Roads less travelled, Adventure Highways.

2007-02-21T23:04:00.000-04:00

Okay, so an adventure starts when you throw your gear into a bag, and decide your going to set out and try something new, something you haven't done before or something just a little different then you have done in the past. Now as you step out the door and begin to travel down that road you think , well if the road is paved then it will be a smooth journey. Though often, especially when we are on that Road with the Lord, its the road that is less travelled , that has alot of stones to roll out of the way, divits to avoid, bumps to endure and rivers and streams to cross. The weather isn't always good, but what I do know is that travelling down these roads we find that we are truly living the adventure, that God is usually much closer then we realize and that though there are hardships there are also great rewards, and that our Hope comes in the promise that He will be there for the entire thing.

Tonight I shared in our bible study , that when ever I find I am beginning to dispair, or that the road is not paved I look to God's Word, I look to my Father and I look to Jesus and the Holy Spirit tends to comfort me, give me that peace beyond all understanding and I have a hope that comes from a living relationship with my God and King.

I also know, that encouragement is something that is always welcomed and tends to make a pack lighter. Discouragement, well that's something that you can choose to listen to or to dump off to the side of the road just like the boulder you roll off the road so that it won't damage your car.

I am on an adventure, not sure where it will take me but I do know that God is really close, the road will have many bumps, and that I'm going to stay on it no matter what rivers I have to cross. For my faith is in God and not in man. Hope, Joy, and Love will keep me going as I follow Jesus over this Road less travelled.

one of my favorite songs

2007-01-31T22:01:00.000-04:00

Arms of Love
Craig Musseau

G D Em
I sing a simple song of love
C Em D
To my Savior, to my Jesus.
G D Em
I'm grateful for the things You've done,
C Em D
My loving Savior, my precious Jesus.
Am Em D G
My heart is glad that You've called me Your own.
Am Em D
There's no place I'd rather be than
G D C
In Your arms of love,
G D C
In Your arms of love.
Em D C
Holding me still, holding me near,
G
In Your arms of love

fountains of living water

2007-01-28T22:21:00.000-04:00

Okay, so tonight when i got home from uptown, I had this picture in my head of Jesus sitting by the well with the samaritan women and then the word living water is also stuck in my head.

So, I figured I would write about it, which means i need pics for those of my friends who hate reading..... Its funny cause I started to think about what the well would look like, is it like the pic with a hole lined with bricks, or is it more like one of the fountains that you could sit on the edge of with a spring running into it.

Also, living water, what does that look like....

As i'm pondering living water and i look at this deep pool of clear water under a good size waterfall I think about the sound of the water rushing down the falls, and if your standing there you would get the spray coming off the falls, it would likely be cool but refreshing, and no matter what else you thought , you would get wet from the spray just as much as if you dove into the pool. So, again, I come back to living water, and what and how it would feel?

I must admit Living Water and the Holy Spirit seem to be in the same place for me, for to thirst for more of Jesus and to know him better, I must trust the Holy Spirit in my life, to lead me and guide me daily with not just my physical life, but also with my spiritual life. So, I would need to be soaked in the Spirit to really experience life close to Him.

Am I totally diving into that deep pool or am I sitting on the edge allowing the spray to soak me, and which is more like my life. I like to think I'm diving in, but in reality, its more of a spray for I know there are times when I let this world get under my skin. It takes alot of the sludge of this world to get into my life before I'm like jumping off the cliffs and into the deep pool.

Oh how I wish it was more of being in the pool all day, but that would be like living on the mountain tops, have I lost you yet to where I am.

Maybe I will be more clear in a month or so , for I believe God is doing something with me now, and I think within about a months time something in my life will be changing.

So, my question to anyone who reads this is, what is your well or fountain look like?

Do you see God filling your daily walk with his Living Water?

where do the footsteps lead?

2007-01-23T19:49:00.000-04:00

I was reading a book by Max Lucado the other day, and in it he mentions about how Jesus hangs up his carpentry apron, puts his tools away and steps out the door to begin his walk to the cross.

With that walk, he heals, he teaches, he builds relationships, he tears down walls, and he laughs and cries. It is a journey that begins after spending many days and nights living the life of a carpenter, and ends with the willingness to be a sacrifice for us, so that we may know communion with our Father and Creator.

I read this story, and I thought of times when I would take kids out for wilderness survival at OPC, I would take them out, show them the tracks of animals, as we followed their tracks , we would see where they ate, slept, stood, ran, and sometimes where they would die. It made me think of my first steps with Christ, and I looked back at the path I have lead, where does it go, where did I stop, turn around and backtrack.

With these questions, I ask myself, if a class was to follow my tracks , would they see a life that follows Christ, a life that each and every day walks to the cross.

Somedays, I can see it, I can see where I'm following my Lord and My King, and then there are days where I seem to be winding down some road or trail that is going around in circles. Yet, I think, as I walk this trail, and start to wonder where it is I've gotten to, I stop...

Then I ask God, where am I?

His answer, follow my path, follow my tracks and I will show you the way in which to walk.

This trail, as I follow it is filled with Love, with fellowship, with circumstances and choices in which when I focus lead me into places where I can see God's works in progress. For me, the cross isn't an end but a beginning, for each time I begin to question where or what I'm doing I just have to look at the cross and find my way back.

Its my compass.

What's your compass?

Its okay, the building is safe to be in now!

2007-01-19T00:30:00.000-04:00

Okay, so this morning, well actually it was closer to lunch time i had a bizarre occurance happen. I went to work (no , thats not bizarre) , I work at nco , its a call centre in Saint John. So, I go in the doors where you need to use the pass card, inside are two security officers just standing around, now usually there is this room in the centre of the building that is full of people on phones, with a hallway that circles the centre room. I walk in, and begin to go down the hallway and there is like no one anywhere, this is weird cause usually its full of people.

I get down toward the back of the building and there is a supervisor coming the other way, so I ask where everyone one is and the first thing out of his mouth is "Its okay, the building is safe to come back into!" So, i'm standing there thinking, safe to come back into, what happened?!?! and more importantly why didn't anybody warn me that the building wasn't safe to come back into...... Apparently , there was a battery fire in the garage below us, and the acid got into our ventilation system. If this isn't weird enough, while I was uptown I could smell this odour, that smelled like cat pee, apparently there was a gas leak at Brunswick Square, they had to evacuate the mall, and to top it off something happened at the Pulp Mill too, there were a bunch of fire trucks there also. So it has been a strange day here in Saint John.

I'm just happy I didn't like get blown up or anything, though I must admit, when I walked into the call centre and found no one inside, for a split secound I wondered if the rapture had taken place.....

Home sweet Home

2007-01-04T20:31:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I have a new job starting up next week, its something to do while i wait for my next posting with Church Army. So, I was supposed to move into this place this week in Saint John but that fell through , which I only found out about on Tuesday. So, I was alittle worked up thinking I was starting work and being homeless, began to get alittle panicky, so I did what any faithful servant to our Lord would do, I got down on my knees and began to pray.

Basically, I was asking what's going on, for I can't work in the City if I haven't a home to live in, and I got a really good answer, yet a difficult one. Wait, and Trust Me for I will provide.

Now, its real easy to say I trust God, but words and deeds are not the same thing. I have found over and over again, that God is faithful with his Promises, the difficult part is waiting for his timing and not jumping in and trying to push it along. Now, waiting doesn't mean you always sit back and relax, you have to keep in communication with God. I so wanted just to come in on Tuesday and start looking for a place to live, but instead, I spent a good part of the day in Prayer, and asking God what he wanted me to do.

I got the picture of steping out of the boat, trusting him and following his lead. So , just like Israel as they began to cross the Jordan river, I went out and began to look for a place to live.

Now that doesn't sound so bad, but you must understand, that I didn't have the funds to pay for a place to live, and I can't really afford to get into a place with a lease, so I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to find a place to live. God had it all laid out, he was just waiting for me to trust him and walk in faith with him. First , when I got into Saint John , I felt the Holy Spirit leading me to go directly to the College and talk with Bruce Smith , National Director of Church Army Canada. From that meeting , I found out that CA will help cover my finances for a place to live, and they called out around the city to try and find me a place, plus we talked about where I might be going for my next posting (that is still in God's hands, so just keep it all in prayer, He is so awesome and I trust Him.) So, then I felt lead to go up to the Flemings , they have been so good to me, allowing me to be part of their family over the last couple of months, true witnesses of what the Body of Christ is all about. Once there, I called around and found places to go check out, mainly uptown Saint John. Now Bruce lent me his car for the day, so this extra blessing allowed me to get around and see places quickly, once uptown, I felt lead to go to Stone Church before meeting a landlord. While there, I talked with the Pastor of Stone Church, Rev David Edwards, and we talked about the places i was checking out, what might be good or bad and how things are in general. I then went about checking places out, and then back to the Flemings.

In the morning, when I awoke, I was told to call David Edwards right away, so from that call I was told to call Debbie, a friend who has a home in Uptown that is for helping out people who are in need of a safe place to stay and to help build a rock foundation on their faith in Christ. Debbie shared that she and Ruby (another lady from Stone, they run the house) wanted to offer me a room in the home. So I have become their first resident, and I will help them with getting the rest of the house readly. Its such a blessing, not only is the rent low but they are feeding me, so I don't have to worry about groceries, and there is laundry facilities there. Its like 2 min from Stone Church so my work with Uptown will be alot more convenient and its only about a 15 minute walk to work at the call centre from there.

So, I believe I've grown somemore in my faith today, I totally trusted God with filling my needs, which seemed like it was going to be impossible. Usually I begin to trust him and then I jump in and try to help push it along. This time I totally waited, just as I wait for my posting. My Lord has not only found me a home, but its a home built and surrounded in His Love. I couldn't ask for a better place to live, its like crossing the Jordan to the promised land. My friend Gray mentioned that this point in my life, this waiting to see where I will go next in Ministry and just being where I'm at could be looked at as an adventure, wow, its an understatement.... I'm finding its so much more then an adventure, its like another part of my heart is being reborn, the part that pumps out with unconditional love and faith.

I can't wait to see what's next as I begin this new step in my walk with my Lord and Saviour, Christmas was the celebration of His Birth, my life is the celebration of His being , no His Living in me.

Casting off

2006-12-29T11:22:00.000-04:00

Well here we are with 2006 coming to a close and 2007 on the verge of beginning. Its funny, the last 2 years have been so much in my life as a Christian. I spent 30 odd years trying to figure out who I was, what best described me and what I was to do with my life. Then my mom got cancer, and I was reminded of my dad and his struggle with cancer, I couldn't take seeing my mom go through that much pain and suffering.

At that point I did something that changed my life, I talked to God. Up till then I never really talked to God, I wasn't even sure I believed in Him, and after my dad's death I was angry and didn't want to love anyone cause it hurt. My mom getting cancer was a wake up call for me, it made me realize that I had to let go of the anger I had toward the loss of my dad, and try to honour my parents, and love my family. (up till that point, I sucked at it.)

So, my mom was sick and I began by asking God; "If you exist, you will not let my mom go through the pain my dad went through, you will give her peace." The doctor's said my mom would likely have 2 good years and then start to go down hill, but God had other plans. My mom after being diagnosed with Lung Cancer, didn't stay long in this world. She had a bout that sent her into the hospital for abit, then she was allowed to come home and have a nurse come check on her. The whole family was there, and my mom told us not to worry, she was going to be with Dad and with God. Then on my Birthday, she fell asleep, and peacefully went to Heaven. For me it was an answer to my asking God to give her peace, for she did not have along struggle with Cancer, she had those she love with her, she said her goodbyes and then she slept.

That day was the first day that I really started to live a life filled with Love! I know my mom and dad love me very much, I know my family loves me, and I know that God loves me. I began a journey that day, to find out who this God is that loves me, to find out who I am in His eyes.

I have come to know who I am in Christ, and what it is that i'm to do with my life. I mentioned the last 2 years, well I went to college to learn how to become a Disciple of Christ, to learn about the bible, to learn to reach out and touch people with the living word, with a relationship with God, to allow others to know the true meaning of the Gospel. With all this knowledge from school, I stepped out of the boat and began to apply it, that application began 2 years ago.

Now, I have spent time becoming a sword, with two edges. One edge proclaims who Christ is, what the Good News is! While the other reaches out to people in Love, with Agape, an unconditional love filled with Grace, Mercy, and an open heart so that the Christ that is within me will touch others, so that they too may experience Immanuel (God with Us!) That they may have a relational life with God through Jesus Christ.

So, here we are on the edge of 2007, I began my life as an evangelist, and even then i was trying to figure out how to be that evangelist, which took me into places physically , spiritually and emotionally that sometimes hurt and sometimes floundered, and sometimes seemed like victory. God has shed light on my expectations of what I thought I should be to more of what it is I am. Its not where I am at, where I am working, it is who I am that matters. My entire life God has been with me, but I had to open the door so that I could come to realize who he is in my life. The light shines in me, the light , the love, the Jesus that I know is in my heart and from there He will allow me to be a light to those who I meet on a journey through life.

So as you look to the sailing ship, its sails catching all of the wind so that it may sail, I too open up my life so that the Holy Spirit may take all of me and guide me through life. I pack God's Word in my days, so that I will be ready for the rough waters that I meet through my life, so that when I hit those rapids, and my canoe flips I won't drowned because I have hope in what I believe. That belief that Christ Died on the Cross and rose again so that I may have life. That belief is fuelled into my faith which gives me the strength, the courage, and the trust to step out of the boat, to open the door and advance on life for My trust is in Jesus, In the Father and in the Holy Spirit, for they will be with me throughout the challenges that are ahead.

My hope is that through the darkness , through rough water, through the struggles and the calmness my God will be there, for He is always faithful. The Sun rises in the morning, everymorning, I know this for I see it. I know that God is with me, and I know this for I see it.

I see it in the people he puts in my life, I see it in the blessings that are in my life, and most of all I see it for the Love He has in my life.

As we come into this new year, I hope and pray that you will open the door and let God into your life, that you begin to talk with him, and that you will have a relationship with Jesus Christ, with God the Father, and be filled with the Holy Spirit.

Have a Joyfull New Year!!

Christmas perspective

2006-12-21T11:35:00.000-04:00

Okay, we celebrate Christmas, and as I said in my last post, we should ask God why we celebrate Christmas. I was watching tv the other night to find out that the movie business has come to an all new low, there is a movie coming out called black christmas, and its a horror movie.

It makes me really think that yes we are in the end times...

Then I got an email from a friend of mine in Kingston Ont. telling me that she wanted to see The Navitivity, but it has been pulled from the theatre cause its not making enough money. Again, my thoughts about Hollywood and the movie business are in a place...........

So, I think, what is happening, why do so many people seem to be lost about what Christmas is about? Are we as Christians not getting the word out?

More in my heart, I find that I look not just at Jesus's birth, but to look at why he came, his purpose for being born in a manger, for living on earth, for bearing our sins on a cross he carried to his death.

That he paid a price for me, for you, for all of us, that is hard to even understand , but to know that through is Grace , Mercy, and Love, we may have a life filled with unconditional love.

A life that is based on the Hope, for what is that hope? It is in the Faith that not only did Jesus take up our sins, carrying them to the cross, dying on that cross, But most importantly of all, He rose, He is Risen, He is alive, and for that we , if we accept Him and Invite Him into our lives, will have life. My hope is based on my faith. My faith is a living experience that is based on not the experience but on God Himself who wants me, you , us to know and have a real relationship with Him.

So, What is CHRISTmas to me, its time to really take into account who I am in Christ. Do I live a life worthy of Christ? Is my celebration about his Birth or is love?

Is it about being saved or is it about His Grace?

Is it Hope, Faith, and Love?

Am I being faithful to share Christmas with others?

How about you?

I used to think the lights were funny, well...

2006-12-18T10:12:00.000-04:00

Okay, last night my friends David, Susan, Marc, and I went out to check out the lights around Saint John, Rothesay, and Quispamsis to see what was tacky, what was tasteful, and what was down right hilarious. I was expecting to see those stupid plastic candles on peoples porches, to see some good quality lighting and some um....not so good lighting. What I couldn't get over, and at times was extremely funny was the inflatable creatures that were found on peoples lawns, porches, and roofs (well we saw a santa climbing up onto a roof.) For me there were a few memorables ones, the first was a santa that slowly rose out of a chimney and then sank back down into it, this was the same house as the santa climbing onto the roof. You kinda wondered why santa was climbing onto it, did he fall off after having to many cookies and glasses of milk???

Another house, one with 30,000 ornaments across the front yard of the house all lit up, and shiny well I think every town has at least one person who goes overboard...........

The inflatables, there was a home that had four of these things out front, one was a grinch on a sleigh being pulled by his dog, it was like 8ft high and 10ft long..... along with that beside it was a inflatable merry-go-round with elves on it, and on the other side of the grinch a Snowman with a see through belly (apparently the snow man eats christmas presents and elves , cause they were inside his belly) Then beside the elf eating snowman there was another inflatable , for the life of me I can't remember what was in it, I think the shock of the elf eater just was to much....

For those who can't afford the inflatables, there were alot of plywood and cardboard Santa's and signs.............

All said and done, we had some good laughs, plus it was good fellowship, which was a blessing along with other blessings last night.

I was blessed to be able to make rice crispy squares with my friend Gray who I don't see often, she works many hours (keep her in prayer.) We were at uptowns prepare and share.

Its church through sharing and preparing a meal , so we make it , eat it, and worship, praise, and Thank God for all in our lives. That too, was a blessing for I got to sit down and eat with other friends I don't get to see often, like Don, Doug, Phillip & Jean, as well as Sarah, Kattie, Sky, John, Reed, Linda, Fred, Joan, well many others, there were over 40 of us I believe.

So, lets see I talked about the inflatables, uptown, what is it I'm forgetting hmmmmmmmm

oh, wait, I remember, you know its what its all about. The inflatables , the dinners, the fellowship, it has to do with the other items we saw on some of the lawns. The navitivity scenes, especially the one that didn't have the baby in it yet. For hopefully they remember to put it out Christmas Eve.

Jesus, the true meaning of Christmas.....Christ first part of Christmas..... You think we would remember why we have Christmas yet it seems like alot of people are trying hard to remember why. I find it sad, when your watching tv and they wish you season greetings, a happy holliday, talk about presents and food, and people and family, and buying that something special for someone special.

Hey, the special someone......... He spent his last hours on a Cross for us, He spent his last hours on a Cross for me, For you, for all who will come to the realization of who Jesus is.

I hope that this Christmas, while we are busy putting up the tree, the lights, cookie dinner, we come to a point:

We come to a point where we just stop what we are doing:

Did you hear what I said:

Stop!!

Ask yourself who Jesus is, why after 2000 years do we still celebrate Christmas.

I do, I stop, I ask God, why , what for, who am I in all this, where are you in all this?

Its funny, with all the business, when I stop, call to God, I find that the peace of understanding settles in my heart.

The song Silent Night comes into my head, I think of a manger, of shephards, of the star, and of the little baby that was born into the world to bring that world out of sin.

Then I think of who I am, of how my life has changed because of Jesus, because of God's Grace and Mercy which I can grasp because of Jesus's willingness to choose the cross for me.

My hope comes with Jesus being Risen, going before me to set a place for me in His Kingdom.

Stop; ASk God why do we celebrate Christmas.......

Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree

2006-12-15T11:14:00.000-04:00

Its funny, it is like really warm here and its hard to imagine that Christmas is only ten days away. So, one of my favorite things to do with friends during the Christmas Holliday. Well besides getting together to Celebrate the Birth of our Saviour, our Reedeemer, Jesus Christ.
I mean that's what Christmas is all about.
Then there's getting together with people you care about and sharing food, laughter, presents and good wholesome hugs.
But the other Favorite for me is going out with my friends and checking out the Christmas tree lights people put out, some are really cool while others tend to bring on a chuckle, its fun to see what different people do with their lights. It easy, you find someone with a car, you go to somewhere like Tim's and get hot chocolate at the drive through and then you pick neighbourhoods to drive through and rate the lights. Usually there are a least two or three in a town that are like way over the word to many lights, but those are the ones that usually bring on hysterical laughter. So, its all about good time with friends.
I hope, for those finishing off exams that they will find times of laughter over this next week, so that the stress will feel far away......

Words of Robert Munsch

2006-12-12T21:01:00.000-04:00

I feel priviledged to share close relation in words with Robert Munsch, my word glich(not glitch, gray but glich) is related to Robert's word Glach, found in his book about the Great Big Purple, Green and Yellow Fart called good families don't.
Now, why am i reading this book, well my friend David suggested I might like it because i could relate to the main character (not his exact words but pretty much the glich of it.)
Speaking of Glich, I think the character with all the colours is alot like me after a good drink of Milk.

Words

2006-12-12T08:52:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I was leaving a note on my friends Blog, GRAYMATTER; She mentioned to me that certain letters put together aren't words, and it occured to me that she's right (Yes Gray, I admit that you can be right and I can be wrong!)
So that made me ask, "Who chooses what becomes a word?"
So first we look at the definition, hense free online dictionary:

A word is a unit of language that carries meaning and consists of one or more morphemes which are linked more or less tightly together, and has a phonetical value. Typically a word will consist of a root or stem and zero or more affixes. Words can be combined to create phrases, clauses, and sentences. A word consisting of two or more stems joined together is called a compound

In practice, linguists apply a mixture of all these methods to determine the word boundaries of any given sentence. Even with the careful application of these methods, the exact definition of a word is often still very elusive. (Note: there were a few pharagraph's before this one, but that would have been long and boring, the important part here is the last sentence.)

So, where am I going with this you ask, or wonder, or maybe your just thinking i've had to much coffee and you may be right.

Randomness: this is the new word I would like the world to accept. Here I thought i was starting a new word, it ends up it already exists,
Oh Wait:
Glich:okay, i even checked , this is the new word I think we should use, it can be used to explain things when the "Man" tries to say this is how it has to be , my response "Glich"
So Glich is about describing something that doesn't exist...........

Okay, so on to something alittle more interesting, The tree monster,

yesterday I was sitting in the room I sleep in (Hey its not a couch but a Bed , yeah!!) and as I looked out the window towards the forests behind my sister's house I thought I saw a tree fall. I had a vivid memory of the episode 1 in season 1 of Lost where the smoke monster rips out the Palm trees.

So, I begin to watch the forest and I can hear this horrible screeching noise and the tree begins to shake , and then its gone, within 2 minutes I've seen 3 tree's fall , and i'm thinking. Its coming this way, that's really creepy.

But once my imagination was brought into check "Glich!!" I realized that there is a tree harvester, a feller buncher up in the woods logging.

So, I got to use my new word in a sentence, Sweet!!!!!!

travel thoughts

2006-12-02T23:15:00.000-04:00

So, i was thinking about what it is I like to do when i have a set of wheels and can afford to travel. All 3 of these pictures are of gorges and waterfalls that look alot like the falls found down on the coast of the bay of Fundy between Fundy Park and St Martin's. Now the pics aren't from there but they do look alot like them.

That is a good description of what I enjoy when I can. To explore places that are really rugged, that a quad couldn't get into, the real way to get into a place like this is by hiking it. The hike is good for you because it keeps you in shape, and the senery is spectacular, and to top it off the chances of seeing some really cool wildlife are there as well.

I find, that when i get into places i've never been i have a hard time turning back, i want to see whats around the next bend, what's over the top of that ridge, or how deep is it below those falls. the questions to know what's there, and how will it change my view of what i know so far. Whether its hiking gorges, canoeing rivers, or visiting new cities, I know with each place there is going to be something new and exciting that will become a constant memory for me. My friend Gray used to put it as building memories, those times when you are working together, well for me, when i'm out seeing all this new I'm building memories, cause i know i'm sharing this adventure with God.

Pretty much like everyday we live, as you look at how Jesus lived with the Disciples and you look at where He is in your walk today, each new event, each new circumstance that he places in your life can be a challenge, an experience and an adventure depending on if you choose to take it as so and if you have the faith to see where God is in it.

I'm excited cause I know that each new event is a time spent growing with Him and becoming more intimate with God the Father, God the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

So, my question to you is , what makes your time with Him more special?

Detour

2006-11-27T15:33:00.000-04:00

Okay, so i was in Saint John today, Linda gave me a lift to the bus terminal (thanks Linda!) First off the bus terminal isn't in uptown but out near reversing falls away from pretty much everything.

So Linda and I race to get to the bus station before 9:30 am , that's when the bus leaves. we make it, and i asked the bus driver is this the bus going to Sussex, and he says yes. Now driving from Saint John to Sussex takes about 45 minutes.

I sit in my seat, nice and relaxed and then wham!!!! The bus is going south on the highway, driving over the toll bridge heading to the West side of Saint John, we are supposed to be driving East, i'm not totally panicking yet cause maybe its got a stop on the west side.

Nope, we continue along till we hit highway 7 and go up to Fredericton, at which point i'm told I have to change buses and take the young's cove Sussex bus, that this is normal and i didn't mess up by getting on the wrong bus.

So my 45 minute trip , took 31/2 hours. I didn't get into Sussex till 1pm and i didn't get to my sisters till3:30, no one was home they all had school and work so i walked it.

My ticket only costs 14 dollars which seemed strange for the distance i drove but not strange when usually the morning bus and afternoon buses tend to drive straight up to Sussex.

At least the weather was nice and i did have a good nap.

Couch Potatoe

2006-11-26T09:05:00.000-04:00

Okay, as you will notice, there is a pair of feet beside this note. They are not my feet, but they will do. Why the feet, well i've been doing alot of walking. Hense the bandage, sore foot.

Lately, i've been on the search for a job, I need a job for i've become a tent maker. I know that for these season I can't just focus on getting rid of my debt because my heart calls out to those who are in need, so I'm lead to reach out and help. God's put that deep in my heart, its something I realized while at camp. I can do pretty much any job cause God is with me, but my heart is drawn mainly to those seeking , to those who live on the edge of society.

I find it funny, that at the moment i'm living by the couch, staying with friends and family while i search for a job to support me. The couch and I have this relationship, its called learning to recieve. I need to recieve the support, the love, and the care that friends and family are willing to give me at this time, yet I find that i battle with being umcomfortable because i feel i'm intruding on others time and space. As sleeping on couches can uncomfortable, so is dealing with the heart, having these conditions are a part of conditioning my heart, for I'm becoming more and more open to looking at where i'm uncomfortable and why that is.

Recieving is an area I struggle with, I have no problem giving yet recieving is difficult.

So if I have problems with receiving, does that mean i find recieving God's Grace, His Love, and his will for me hard to accept?

I don't know all the answers, but I know that God does, and as I open my heart and look at places where it is still in need of repair, I will grow , it just not always easy.....

God is always good

2006-11-17T09:29:00.000-04:00

Okay, its a no brainer for those who know Him, but i still like to tell it. How God , Abba, my Father, is always there, through lows, highs, and inbetweens, He's looking out for me and tends to answer my calls for assistance, though sometimes I don't see it till afterwards.
Oh, and i recieved a call for a job interview today, I have to go in and get tested to see if i can do the job, but that's cool, its a start. Part of the work is assisting in funeral homes during visitations, i'm kinda curious about that though it could be an avenue to reach out to people so we will see what part of my adventure this will be.

My friend Gray mentioned how I should look at what's going on in my life right now as a new adventure, i'm taking her advice, i'm picturing it like the Apostle Paul on his ship voyages across the Roman Empire, never knowing what was going to happen but having faith and hope because of knowing that Jesus was right along with him.

Now i have the song come sail away stuck in my head.

who is God

2006-11-16T19:41:00.000-04:00

Okay, so i'm taking the bus to Sussex from Saint John, thinking; you know i can sleep most of the way there.

you know when you read these stories in books about people meeting someone on the plane or train and talking about God, telling them who he is and how he's changed your life and how he can change theirs. I used to read those and say, I've never really had that happen to me, and i'm supposed to be an evangelist!
Well today all that changed, about 5 minutes before getting on the bus (Saint John bus station isn't usually to busy, though tonight there were alot of people waiting to go to Fredericton.)
So, its really busy (not really , but for St John) and nobody is really talking much cause they don't know each other, then the Fredericton Bus leaves, and Wham , there is only a few left ( a few is 3) in the station. So this women near me asked where I was heading, so I explained to her where and why. That brought up Church Army, which her reaction was "i've never heard of that before, is it a church?" What do you know a chance to talk about God, so we got onto a conversation. She mentioned she sort of new God, but that she didn't understand how you could have a real relationship with Him. So I asked where it was now, and she mentioned if she prayed she felt she could see light and felt warm.
This started a conversation, basically going from how once you except Jesus into your heart you then have a choice as to how intimate you want to be with God. Just like any other friendship the more time and effort you put into the relationship the closer you become.
So, we talked alot about Who God is, What he looks like (other then we are created in His image, I think the best answer I have is that everytime you see someone treat someone else with unconditional love, your seeing a glipse of God.)
So , we talked on the bus for about 40 minutes, and just as we were pulling into her stop, she asked if we could pray, so that she could really know God and who He is to her.

I love my Lord, it amazes me everytime he places us into a spot where He is working, and we , untill we recognize it are oblivious to why we are where we are. This last two days, have been like that. I had someone who i thought was a close friend, tell me to pretty much get lost, so i was questioning alot about what did I do...... or if something is wrong with me, then wham another friend who i haven't seen in a while, tells me how good it is to be able to hang out, and yet another, how now that i'm home there's so much we can do.

God has blessed me with a home in Saint John, with a Church filled with unconditional love, and friends plus I know he's got the job for me to do that will both give me time to help out with uptown plus pay off my debt.

Just like the bus ride, and just like Abe when he was willing to surrender, I'm finding more and more that everytime I choose to surrender my way, God blesses me with a High Way in which there's open roads and many of interesting stops in which to build and grow with Agape.

cat hair

2006-11-14T08:41:00.000-04:00

Have you ever noticed that cat's hair isn't like dog hair? I'm staying at my sister's place, and they have 2 dogs (well one of them is actually Tasha, she's my dog, but i can't afford to keep her so i gave her to my sister) and then theres tips. Now both dogs shed some, but most of their hair stays on the floor, it might get into clumps but its not like airborne....

Then there's webster.............Webster is this cat that my nephew Kevin found in the ditch as a kitten. So he brought Webster home (that was like 4 years ago.) Webster is a funny little cat, who i'm guessing like most cats thinks it owns the place. So the cat, sorry for you cat lovers, Webster has hair that likes to go airborne, so it just doesn't stay on the ground like the dogs, its floating around, getting into my coffee mug/ tea mug (now I have one of each, since my friend Bethany gave me this super mug for tea, its huge so i'm learning not to have tea late at night, i wonder if that's a sign of old age...................?)

Where was i , oh yeah, the airborne regiment of Webster's hair, so you like go to sleep at night and in the morning, you feel like you have swallowed cat hair, plugyhgh.!!! (that's the choking noise one makes in the morning when they are trying to spit out the furball stuck in their throat.)

The only problem is the cat , Webster is kinda cute, so he grows on you, even though i'm algergic to it, sorry to him. If only there was a way to stop the airborne hair...................

State of Flux

2006-11-09T10:00:00.000-04:00

Have you ever been in a space, where you know God has called you to do something, yet you have to wait for others to see what it is God has called you to do.

What i think i will do is work at paying off my debt, so that whatever i choose to do this next year, the debt isn't hanging over my head.

So, here i'm at wanting to do one thing, yet having to do another, so that down the road i can do what i feel i should be doing without having to work off something from my past.

Wow, sounds alittle like redemption, except with redemption Christ did all the work at the cross, all I need to do is surrender to Him. I love God's Grace, He chooses to forgive me and except where I'm at knowing that I will make mistakes, but that's okay, cause I'm human and not perfect.

Forgiveness, Love, and His Grace, I will enjoy the day that we all see that, myself included in the We.

i'm here

2006-11-07T22:09:00.000-04:00

okay, i went for the road trip, and now i'm in NB, at my sisters for the moment, though tomorrow i will be in Saint John for the day. We will see what God's got planned....

Road trip

2006-11-06T00:32:00.000-04:00

Okay, so i'm off on a road trip, i'm leaving first thing in the morning and I'm heading to New Brunswick. First stop will be Tim's for a coffee. Then its down to the 401, and up to Mont. St. Bruno, just outside of Montreal. Will stay with my sister overnight, and then its on to Apohaqui, NB and my other sisters where I will unpack and then the next morning take the car into Saint John. The car, a ford focus wagon sort of like the one in the pic except its burgandy, fit most of my stuff in it, though i did give a chunk of it away. I was surprised by the amount of room it had in the back, even fit my mountain bike :O)

Tonight I said goodbyes, so that its easier to leave, not really, never easy to say goodbye to people you love. I must admit , i'm fond of alot of people here at opc.

Well Hope all goes well, I keep praying and trusting God, he's done amazing so far with a car, funds and support.

Its amazing how he answers prayer, I'm so grateful for his Grace and that I've come to know Jesus so well.

Oh the 80's

2006-11-02T11:38:00.000-04:00

Oh the 80's, I was a teenager, and here we are having a goodbye celebration because both Sarah and I are leaving Outdoor Ed and moving on to other exciting places with God. Sarah, well she might be heading out west, and I , well i'm heading east.
But for a party being so close to hallowween and also my 40th birthday, the retro look was the theme of the night. We had fun, we always have fun.
I will look at this last year as the place where God mainly worked out my building relationships with people, and cementing the fact that friendships are so much stronger when God is in the midst of the building of those friendships.

I hate goodbyes

2006-10-27T18:36:00.000-04:00

Well today was my last work day at OPC, next week we are going to my cottage for 2 days to camp out, but officially I'm done with camp.
I'm excited about my next chapter in this walk with God, alittle nervous for I do not know how i'm getting home, nor where i will live or work, yet I know God has a plan.

The hardest part in all of this is saying goodbye to the people I have grown very fond of here at camp, and there are alot of them. The Staff at OE, the Kitchen, Operations, in the office, and some from the summer. I'm not good at saying it, I don't know many who are, yet I know I will miss them, and that I have learned alot about who I am, how to be friends and why relationship takes alot of time, effort and tears and joy.

So, without change we don't really experience growth, I wonder if that means i'm really growing?

I guess the best way to put this is to say to those who read this who know me, your time, your love and your being in my life has and will always be a part of me; thankyou for being who you are and helping me grow.

There aren't really goodbyes, more like seeing you down the road or when we go home!

the trouble is...

2006-10-24T22:27:00.000-04:00

Hello,
tonight I fell into a mess that I often do, in which I realize after I have fallen that i'm in the mess and that likely the wise thing to have done is not get into that mess in the first place.
So, now your sitting asking "What are you talking about Paul?"
Well, to answer the mess.... an arguement or discussion that isn't really worth the time it is becoming. My example.... at our bible study, we got into a debate about why Judas Iscariot did what he did and why. I shared alot about what I believed and then was asked how I could back it up in scripture (this was a good question) and at the time I didn't have an exact reference, yet at the same time I realized that it wasn't really helpful arguing about why I think he did it, if it wasn't really Glorify who God is nor about who Jesus is or what he did at the cross.
The important fact in it all is that Judas didn't recognize that he could have asked for forgiveness, he chose condemnation and hung himself.
We had come to agreement on that, but had got side tracked.

So what does this mean to me.... well, its one of those lessons I think God teaches me about how I should change. The change is being more aware about what i'm discussing and if its helpful towards God's Kingdom, also that if I'm going to get into debates, I should be sure to have the info to back it up.

So, it was a helpful bible study for me because I recognized where I need to change and grow.

Growth, maturity, and intimacy with God is what its about.

God's places

2006-10-14T23:40:00.000-04:00

This is a really short post. I was reading my friend's post, her name is Erin and God has her in what i would call the best class room, ie the street. It reminded me, that no matter where we are physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, He's in Control.
Erin learned to knit from a homeless guy, its something that we wouldn't expect as society tells us the lies that homeless are not worth anything, when in fact, God knows different. Erin was given the opportunity to see this guy through God's eyes. If we open our ears, our eyes, and our hearts, God can do so much.
oh how I want to be so open to Him, that Jesus will continue to work in my heart so that I can touch others to allow them to see that which He shows me. I'm excited to be going home to Saint John, for it means getting back into what I think God wants me to do.
Tonight, I thank God, and I thank Erin for sharing and rekindling my heart.

Its funny, that Erin's stopping to talk to Red, was like a the drop in the picture, that drop which represents God's unconditional Love creates a ripple which will touch who knows how many people. That's the importance of sharing the Gospel with words, works, and prayer, the ripple of our actions goes far beyond what we could ever vision.

2006-10-12T18:46:00.000-04:00

These pics are friends from opc, they go along with the post below this one, which also has pics of oe opc peeps who i've shared the last year with laughing and sharing the gospel through life experiences.

Heading Home

2006-10-12T18:18:00.000-04:00

Its funny, I was born in Ontario and I've lived a chunk of my life here, yet if someone asks me where home is , I find I say New Brunswick, and why? Well alot of what I consider support I have found comes from NB. Some of my family is there, alot of friends, and churches that I know accept me for who I am, and are pleased to have me around. I'm not saying, others aren't , its just when they see me there are smiles and hugs waiting. the only other place i've felt that besides family, is at Pioneer Camp, within and around Oe. I will miss my friends at camp, but I really feel that as I wait to find out what God has next for me, I will head home to St. John and Sussex.
God is moving in my life, he's uprooting where i'm at and what I have accepted as my carreer, my life. I don't know if it will all stay a part of me but I know that within all the pain, tears, and hurt I'm feeling now, God is mending the rips in my heart.
There is no better place to be when that happens , then with those who love you. Home is a place you call where you feel that love. So home i will go, and I will continue to be who I think God wants me to be, for it is the Lord I listen to and not what man thinks or says.
I'm hoping to see alot of people from Uptown, Romero House, and in amongst the fields and streams of NB, that I have grown fond of and like to call friends.
I leave for the east in Nov. as I begin my 40th year, what a Birthday, I have come to know my Birthday as a time of change. Sadly my mom past away on my Birthday, and now I've become unemployed while celebrating my 40th. Yet, within all this turmoil, though I admit I have tears in my eyes, I'm also excited cause I know God, I know that Jesus will not let me go at it alone, but will lead my way, building the road to which I will travel.

times a changing

2006-10-11T12:28:00.000-04:00

Its funny, my good friend Bethany was saying a couple of weeks, that there is a change in the air, that many things will be changing. Boy, was she right, in her life there are huge blessings, i'm so happy God is working there and answering many of her prayers.
As for me, well, I've got changes!
I'm leaving OPC, as of the end of the month I will have come to a close with this chapter of the adventure as a CA officer with camp, yet still as a CA Officer I will be moving into unknown waters, where God has something else planned for me. The thought of this is terrifying yet at the same time exciting as I wait to see where I'm to go.

While waiting , i have processed alot over the last couple of weeks, for one, all the really good friends I've met while at camp, the pics show some of them.
My time here at camp has been great, many memories and friendships built that will not leave me but likely grow as I move on.

When we look at what God is doing, it can be really exciting...
that's where I'm at, hope it is for you too.

night hike

2006-10-04T21:42:00.000-04:00

So, we do this night hike at opc, usually i lead them because i can do all these wierd noises that sound like wildlife, the big one is the owl calls. Now, we have had owl's, wolves, and frogs call back, which some may find exciting. The group I took tonight , were all grade 5's and they asked so many questions. Is it always this dark out? Why does it seem to be darker out earlier up here? are there ghosts in the woods? are we going to get eaten by a bear? I'm scared, are you? How come you take people for walks at night? my favorite, I'm hungry is there any fast food around here?

Getting them to quiet down has become an art, I used to be really crappy at it, but i've found that counting down works almost all the time. And then they hear stuff or see a falling star and they get really excited, that makes it all worth while. Or they don't hear anything, and wonder why I'm making these stupid noises, actually some times I wonder, until on the way back to the camp I hear about half the kids trying to make the noises I was making, then I just smile and thank God for those moments.

Beauty amongst turmoil

2006-10-03T12:21:00.000-04:00

I know that God is with me, especially when hardship comes. Why? you may ask, well when hardship used to hit, I would get into a real funk, and sit in it, looking at doom and gloom.
Where as now, when hardship comes , I find myself looking into His Word, spending more time in prayer and having a hope of what the future holds for me as I continue up the path that God lays before me. Also, instead of Doom and Gloom, I find I'm observant of what's happening around me. For one, the colour of the leaves, trying to catch them as they drop to the ground.
Also, news, good news, such as a close friend who has been searching for awhile for the love of a mate in her life, finding that person, the glow on her face of happiness and of waiting as God as shown her too. (no, I'm not her mate, so don't jump to conclusion)
I watch as God works in peoples lives, as well as my own, and puts things into place to stretch, to grow, and to heal people as they work out their lives, and where God is in it.
Having Jesus in my heart, living in my life has become the greatest blessing that I could ever recieve. If their is one thing I will always be thankful for , its for Jesus and the process He has done to become part of my life.
Hope all is well with my peeps, sometimes I wish I was still at uptown, because I see so much of what God is doing there, yet I'm excited for what he has planned in my future.

His Grace is sufficient for me

2006-09-28T17:59:00.000-04:00

Today was alittle emotional, and today when I awoke the Lord gave me a passage from 2 Corinthians 12 about God's Grace.
I was told today some news which really touched my heart, that brought up stuff from my past and made me question alot about who I am and how I treat others.
There was alot of crying, and questioning God about what has happened, and in the midst of all of it, the passage from 2 Corinthians came back to me. MY Grace is sufficient for you.
I realized I have come to a place of surrender, a place where I have realized i've had this pride in my life, (i never thought i was a pridefull person, yet God has revealed to me that I am.)
So, I have come to a place of recognizing the pride, and surrendering it. I have spent the day in a place of looking at what God has given me and where I will go from here.
Some time in the future I will give more details, but for now, I must confess that I'm so grateful that God's grace is there for without it I would be lost.

moments of time

2006-09-23T00:04:00.000-04:00

In this past week we have had two school groups up at OPC, first group was grades 4-8, my group was filled with kids from grades 4-6. I love working with this age group because they are really interested in finding out what is going on in the outdoors. You can take them on a nature hike, and they will spend 5 minutes looking at an insect. Its almost like the last of the age of innocence before picking up attitude and coolness. Though within the group there was one who was very hard on himself, and didn't want to try new things cause he figured he was going to do it wrong. Over the 3 days the school was here, I kept trying to get him more involved, but he continued to sorta keep to himself. Reminded me of myself, over different points in my life. I started to get breakthrough in the fact he would sit and talk to me on the third day, and then it was time for them to go home. I have been praying for him, but I found as I said my goodbyes to the group and the bus was leaving, I had a tear in my eye, acually many, for in one sense, it was a point where they were willing to share with me, as friends do and then it was time to leave. That left a feeling of frustration as to how I can be helpful to both God and them with so little time, and then with the one little guy, i couldn't share more about how I have changed from being hard on myself to trusting that God will give me the grace to change. Yet at the same time, I can see where the time I have had with the kids has been time well spent.
My heart has this rip in it for those who the world has placed into cracks, yet beyond prayer I don't know how minister or be there more for them, as unconditional love works with time, yet time seems to be short.....
My secound group this week , grade 8's, this was more time spent doing , then talking, they were a great bunch of kids, and we spent much time doing many activities like canoeing, low ropes, and wilderness survival, yet again, the amount of time spent seemed so little, I keep asking God if I can be put in a place where those gifts he's given me to build relationships can really be used, for at times it seems distant.
I know that the time I've spent with each teacher, student, and coworker has been time well spent, and that each moment of the day, God teaches each of us more about who he is , and how he works within each of us towards bring more focus towards him and His Kingdom.
That, is what I find keeps me going... whether its a great day or a day that seems long and difficult. Though still my heart feels for those who hurt and I continue to ask God what I must do to change those hurts......................................... I keep seeing love................

rainy day

2006-09-18T21:26:00.000-04:00

It was a day of rain drops, which sometimes is just what you need to bring back memories.
We have a school in this week with grades 5-8 and during this time of activities (mostly outdoors.) Like orienteering, this was an outside activity in which was done in the pouring rain, and with that I was amazed that the 17 kids that were in my group, none of them complained about being wet. In fact, they were just all about having fun, out in the rain.
Now, my group is grade 6'ers, some of the older kids were out mountain biking, and they were all about the mud, they too seemed to have no prob with the rain.
So, then I was walking home after dinner (this takes about 10 minutes) there were puddles of rain, and in amongst these puddles were leaves that have fallen from the trees (yes, fall is upon us here in the Muskoka's) I was enjoying this walk, mainly because, during this down pour, I realized that the rain was warm, and the leaves were full of vivid colours, many reds, oranges, and yellows. It was really nice, and as I said, I had memories of the past. Memories of walks with Dad, and of time spent in places around Canada in which I have spent time, as ever , I am always amazed at God's work of art that we call nature. He really know's what he's doing, I love it when time seems to stop and God gives us glimpses of the way life should be.
Hope all is well.

fall colours

2006-09-17T21:23:00.000-04:00

Its funny , usually the trees really tend to change in October, yet they seem to be already, into the process and its still September. Funny how change comes in times when you least expect it, you get into this routine of thinking you know when the changes will occur and then Wham, God throws a curve ball and its there in front of your eyes.

I have changed alot in the last year, my outlook has become alittle different, the way I present myself has definetely adjusted. Then there is my time with the groups that come in, last year I would teach the youth but would be quite serious alot of the time. Where with this year i've become alot more relaxed, sorta like last week. We have this set of rules about dining, where each table has a tray and only one person per table can get up and get stuff, well to explain all of this to my group i used Simon (say it with a french accent) Simon is this hand puppet, also known as sunny.... Well I started off by pulling this puppet out of my jacket, and Wham the kids weren't expecting it and the place was so quite you could hear a pin drop. The looks on the faces where astonishment, surprise, some questioning if I was all there....
Yet it opened a door for me to share with them, and to allow them to feel relaxed. This created a change in the dinamic's of the group.
The hardships with all this, is the group , like most school groups that pass through our camp are only here for 3 days and its usually the third day that you have finally gotten to a place where you have enough trust to start to share with them.
Where was I , oh yes change, and the colors of fall.
As the leaves fall, it is a hint that there will be a change in temperature, and that winter is around the corner. This is a change of season's, which is sorta like my life here at camp, its in a process of change, where I know I will be heading on to a different type of work. The big question is when....... which means waiting........................................
waiting on God's timing is likely one of the hardest things to do.................
You want to jump in and take control, yet that isn't waiting, its doing..... sometimes, no alot of times i want to do, where instead I must wait. So what should I do while I wait, well lately its been spending more time in prayer, more time in the word, and more time walking, canoeing, and sitting in the woods.
So, if you were to ask me what's up these days, I would say I'm waiting....
the other day I tried doing, I found a job with the mustard seed, yet it was something I would find challenging and a place to build relationships in Christ, it was something I went out to find.
Where if its to be it will come, and that means to wait.
Like the colours that have come early, there are still many days before winter, and many days before all the leaves have fallen, so its a time of waiting, and change.

reedeemed helps keep focus

2006-09-10T10:49:00.000-04:00

I was checking out my friend Reed's blog reedeeemed today, and while reading it I had a revelation, happens often when Reed and God are involved......
He was mentioning how Chris Burke had sent him scripture that really helped, and I got to realizing that lately , though I've been helping out alot of other people, my mind and part of my heart have been focused on myself and not on others.
Its funny how we can slip into that total selfish relm if we aren't vigilant. So, I ask my friends and family to forgive me for being self-absorbed. 2 Corinthians 3-5 has been in my heart alot lately, and today I realized why. I'm so grateful for my Lord Jesus, he's always looking out for me, and Reed thanks for being so open with what's going on in your life.
Mum, Jen, and The Burkes, I'm so glad that you have had impact on me, i'm really grateful that we finished off together at Taylor, and that since then, distance hasn't totally cut us off.
I miss you guys/gals, yet I know that we will all meet up again (especially at Church Army functions)
So, if you see me starting to flop into selfish mode you have my permission to give me a Boot in the Butt.

outlook

2006-09-08T16:39:00.000-04:00

okay, my origional post was pretty negative, mainly because i was frustrated because of some miscommunication. My friend Jen says it well in her comment, and it made me take a step back, thanks Jen. Sometimes we get into places of emotion, and Wham the enemy takes advantage of that and tries to create Kaios. Fortunately God places people in our lives to help us deal with these times of trial. My friend's Jen and Gray are such people, so again thanks Jen, and you too Gray.
Now, I've been struggling with where I work cause I really believe that relational evangelism is a way to bring people into a strong relationship with Jesus, and with work, well we don't see the kids for very long. Relationships take time, so I've been praying that God will put me in a place where I can build those relationships. I thought that meant moving, but apparently I was wrong again.
Hopefully 2 friday nights a month I will be spending time at a YOUTH FOR CHRIST drop-in centre in Huntsville. I was there tonight and it was really something, it was God's way of saying "paul, I want you to stay here alittle while longer, so I'm answering your prayer by blessing you with this place to help out." It truly is a blessing, as I will give time away from camp, therefore creating some change in my daily routine. I love my Lord and God, He just always know's what we need.

snapper

2006-09-08T08:08:00.000-04:00

My friend Drew found a dead snapping turtle yesterday, and knowing that i am a bit of a keaner when it comes to nature thought I would like to see the snapper. So, he was on his kayak, and he and Peter (another oe staff member) used their paddles to put the snapper onto the back of Drews boat. I could hear him bringing it over "eeew, ugh, cough, oh my, phew" so he gets it to the beach , i take a paddle and get it off his boat, it was huge, yet when I turned it over, Drew was like "look baby turtles" for me "um....Drew those aren't turtles their maggots" So after some discussion and debate, Peter and I talked Drew into putting back on his boat and taking it out to an island, where hopefully something will eat the flesh and then we will have a turtles shell. Average day in the life of paul........

Drop-in Centre

2006-09-06T23:31:00.000-04:00

I'm kinda excited about this coming Friday, I have found a drop-in Centre in Huntsville that is run by Youth For Christ in which I'm going to Volunteer some time at. Hopefully it will be a place where we all grow in Christ.

tug of war

2006-09-06T23:20:00.000-04:00

today has been a very strange day, we are in the middle of staff training, yet some people are away so we are doing site prep, which is kinda boring at times. Though for me this has been a day in which my emotions, my body, my heart, my soul, my spirit, my mind, and my mouth have all been knocked around, I feel as if I have been beat up, rolled over, run over, and trampled. I am so tired of religion, of fighting up hill battles for little things that shouldn't matter, of finding places where instead of being in God's holiness, I'm sitting knee deep in my own filth thanks to being tired, a mouth that should know when not to speak, and a brain that doesn't seem to function at the right time.
Relationships are hard, difficult, frustrating, yet at the same time they are a joy, a blessing, and needed to survive and live. Everyday is a day of struggles and rewards, yet today seemed like one of those days of extra's, a day at which at its end has been filled with tears.

I am so thankful for my Lord and my God's Grace, His Love, and His Mercy. If it wasn't for Jesus Christ, I would not have all that God has given me , then there wouldn't be a tug of war but I would be laying face flattened in the mud without the joy, hope, or Love which sustain's me.

Today I die, for to die is to live, Tomorrow Hopefully I will live, as again I choose to die of self, and choosing Jesus :O)

Revealed

2006-09-04T22:53:00.000-04:00

Today was our first day of training for the fall at oe, it was a day with canoeing, kayaking, going over staff manual, and initiatives. Makes for a long day, then to top it off we had a bonfire at which Bethany asked each of us why we are here at oe.
It came to me about 2 weeks ago, that the reason i'm here has to do with about a year and a half ago, when I was offered a job up North, on Baffin Island, to run a soup kitchen.
I was scared, of the North, of such barren land and long cold dark winters. I truly believe that's where God wanted me to go, but I didn't trust him enough, so i chickened out. I used my fish allergy as an excuse not to take the job, and I ran. I took a job in Ottawa that didn't work out, then I found opc, here was a place where I could use my past knowledge of forestry and maple to be employed. My fear and running brought me to Ontario Pioneer Camp (opc) but though I might have chosen to come here, God would use that to bring me to a place of humility, of surrender and a place to really build a trusting relationship with Him and a growth in me with relationships with others.
I have learned alot while here, most of all, I've learned where I was weak and how I was hinding that weakness. Yet, with time, He brings out our weaknesses, our faults, and shows how are pride/arrigance (yes its spelt wrong) gets in the way. Once revealed, options come up, or should I say choices, as to what we will do with the revelation God show's us.
I know I want more of Him, I know I want to serve Him and to build His Kingdom through building Christ centred relationships. So, I chose to accept that I was running, I had the fear, and I wasn't trusting Him. Next, I surrendered and began to learn through hardship, through in my face dealing with my weakness and trust issues through others. I have built some really good friendships, both here and from those I've known in the past, but it has happened only because of God's Grace in my life, and by His Love, His unconditional love, which has set the standard to which I try to build relationships with others on.
The Lord has brought me to where I am, where is that you ask? As my friend Gray once said to me, I was a sheep grasping at bits of grass, when God wanted to show me the pasture.
Well, I've let go of the bits and have begun a trip of Him leading the way to the pastures.
That , I believe may take me to places that will be filled with hardships, and likely spots that I will find scarry , yet that's okay, Cause now my Father is with me and My Lord Jesus will be in front of me. I may still have some fear, but I trust God, so I'll go when he says go.

looking for today, for the present

2006-09-03T14:07:00.000-04:00

I went to faith baptist today, the sermon was pretty good. It comes from Rev 3
and it was mainly about how we need to make sure our church doesn't become a monument of the past. In otherwards we need to focus on today and the future and not look at how spirutual it was in the past , or how God worked in our lives in the past, but how he's working, speaking, and doing in our lives today. What's God saying to you in the Word today?
How are you being effective for God's Kingdom today?
In what way has Jesus touched your heart this day?
I found that to be really good, I know my description of it is short, but really that's okay, cause I'm looking at what He's saying to me today.
Like 2 Cor, the Gospel of Mark, and about surrender and trust, oh lets not forget Grace.
so what's God saying to you today?

cows should eat grass

2006-09-01T23:02:00.000-04:00

okay, i was told to update my blog, so um...............................................................................................................................................
You know I keep hearing of people who are lactose intollerant......... I never thought of myself as not being able to enjoy milk products, cause I do enjoy milk products like the pizza and jug of milk I had tonight, yet after the milk comes the not so good side of having had so much milk made things.......................
I think they should stop feeding cows stuff that isn't just grass, they should go back to just grass so I can enjoy having milk with people being able to stand being around me after the milk.
its all about the mooooo!

grace

2006-08-27T09:25:00.000-04:00

Its funny how God teaches us about His Grace, one of the things i've been doing this week is hosting one of the groups that rent out the facilities. Now in the beginning of the week they were in a real great place, happy, excited , laughing, it was all good. So, its all good, but as host your kinda the person who is the representative of the camp, so even though they might be happy with you, if part of the time here is going not as good, it comes back on you. Now, last year when I hosted and this happened , I used to reflect the way people interacted with me and kinda showed the negativity. So, this summer , I kept asking God to help me out with this little dilema, that He would change my heart. Now, when they come with problems, or their reflection is kinda blah!! I try to respond positive, and bring alittle light into the conversation. Doing this isn't always easy, and lots of times I need to ask God for help (quiet prayers.)
So, I've found that His Grace has given me the goal, the reason, the effect to allow me to give others that Grace and in doing so bring Joy into their difficulties. It has been truly a blessing to have this change, that I keep seeing how it reflects with others and becomes a blessing in their lives as well as mine.
So, as a friend of mine has put it, its a discipline to bring Joy into my life as well as bring Joy into others, but in that discipline there are rewards that bring that Joy back into our lives as we shine to others. Did that make sense??
Anyways, God's Grace is sufficient!!
Yet , to take that Grace and apply what was given to us, to me , to you if you have experienced God's Grace is taking what was given and sharing it, in so doing, I think we build on to His Kingdom, Gloriflying Jesus and what He has done in our lives.

Camp life

2006-08-24T17:03:00.000-04:00

Okay, I have worked at Pioneer for almost a year, and I find it so strange how the dinamics of camp are so different in the summer as to that of year round ministries. It has taken me most of the summer to actually get to know alot of the summer staff, and yes, now the summer is mostly over. Though today, we started Outdoor Ed again , we have a group in early and it feels kinda good to be working with groups again. I'm always amazed at how God works, I know my time here at camp will be coming to a close, and I will be heading into a different role in my life as an evangelist. I know that alot of that will be building strong relationships with Christ at the centre, and at the same time I know I'm going to miss camp.
The best thing in life, is when you know that know matter where your at, or what your doing, God will put that joy in your heart, and I think, this last year He has been filling me with a place to choose for more joy, cause we have grace, faith, love, mercy, which are gifts from God, but joy I think is something that is effected by choice. I beleive camp is a place where you learn to plant joy in your life.
I know that I'm so much more at peace, and that joy is something I'm choosing day by day, I Thank my Lord Jesus Christ for so much, and as I choose Joy, He blesses me with overflowing in that area.

Life-in-the-trees: Camp ministry

2006-08-18T18:09:00.000-04:00

Life-in-the-trees: Camp ministry

Before you plant

2006-08-18T17:52:00.000-04:00

I learned something really important this year about communication. I tended to be kinda blunt with words, when i wanted something, i just came out and said what I wanted. I found out that alot of times, the answer would be no......................... Why, why no, was it cause they didn't want to do it my way, was it cause i was so far off with what was going on, I was on my own little planet? (well maybe sometimes on my own little planet) But, no , it wasn't that i was on a different page, it was more because I didn't plant my seeds well.

Before planting a seed, you need to make sure the soil is full of its nutrients and ready for seed to be planted, you have to prepare your soil. So, I've found that for people to be on board with a vision, or for an idea, I need to prepare them for it before just blurting out "This is what I need"
A good example is docks, one of the things i've had to do over this summer was rewrite, or re vamp our wetland course. It wasn't hands on, and we want it to be hands on, now in the past if i wanted some sort of equipment I would say, hey can i use those docks? (likely the answer would be no, cause I'm not one who needs docks at camp, or never before has needed them)
yet before asking, I talked to the head of operations, I asked what they do with the docks in the fall, when were they finished with them and when do they usually pull them out. Then I mentioned how Devine lake (the 2nd lake at camp) we don't tend to use much and it would be really good to use to teach alot of the nature courses we have , especially with the great wetlands found in it. The soil was churned, the seed ready to be planted. So, I brought up how it would be great to be able to reach out into the marsh, but to do so we would need docks. The time of year is exactly the time of year when they aren't using the docks , yet we would be done before the lake freezes up. So, would it be possible to use such docks?

I was told they would think about it..............

Today, I have been told that they think its a great idea, and will greatly benefit the kids learning more, so yes , we can use the docks and they will put them in.

Oh, all the way through this , I've been praying that our Lord will bring about a way for us to grow this program. So, Praise God!!!!!!

Praise Him for giving us the equipment needed to help build this program and Praise Him for changing my out look, on building better communication skills into my life through the work i've done here.

On a final note, This coming year, I believe God is going to work at my attitude in life, I've struggled with negativity for along time, I believe this next season is about looking at life as having the cup half full, if not overflowing. I don't believe it will be easy, but I have friends who will help me be accountable to this, and that again is God placing me here, placing friends in my life to change those things that hamper His ministry, and by His Grace I will continue to grow.

Camp ministry

2006-08-16T13:40:00.000-04:00

You know, I'm amazed at the different type of people you will find working within the camp, plus their qualifications. Like most camps, OPC has alot of jobs and not always enough staff, its sort of like churches. There are alot of people doing one type of job when they are way more qualified to be in another area where there may not even be someone who is qualified to work in that area.
But yet , within all the confusion, God still works it out. He takes us where we are at, and uses us in any given situation, so that in the end it's nothing to do with our qualifications, its all to do with His Strength, His Grace, and His Agenda.
The biggest problems are when we try and help that along by doing things we think will make people be closer to God, while its not about what we can Make, its about what God does with what we are willing to surrender.

The more we try to do it on our strength , the more in the end we have to surrender.
I guess its like the biggest thing i've learned since I accepted Christ into my life, its not about what I do, its about Surrendering it all to Jesus, no matter what it might be.

Hope all are having a great day.

His Church is a process in relationship building

2006-08-14T10:43:00.000-04:00

Okay, Today i'm back in the office full time , working at trying to get our forest and wetland program up and going before the fall. I'm finding it difficult, cause as an evangelist I want to be out in the midst of people building relationships for our Father's Kingdom, instead i'm in an office on my own...................... I believe I'm growing here at OPC, yet I also believe this time is coming to an end and I will be back out building His Church soon. It is difficult when your heart is totally yearning for one thing and you are in another. Though, its funny cause I'm working and living in an area of trees, wildlife, and lakes. Something i've always wanted as a kid, but now I'm seeing that it was a desire from my past, that now has been changed, because I've changed. My hearts desire is for more of Jesus, more of God. To be doing what he has called us to do, Matthew 28: 18-20 "Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

So, here I am, as a friend of mine put it building relationships in the tree's, yet as I hear what is happening in Uptown Church in Saint John, In Ottawa with Calvary Church (my friend Andy and his building up another part of the Kingdom) I have such a desire to be in a place where I not only can share the Gospel, but spend the time needed to build relationships in Christ. Here my time with youth is 3 days to a week, so I continue to pray that the Lord will use me, that I surrender to His will and Build on His Kingdom. Alot of that is through surrender and prayer.

Reed, keep up the commitment , where people like Donna, George, and Don can find Peace in Christ. Andy, my brother, continue to trust in His Word. Gray, go with the cape, be a super heroe for Christ, Jen , your heart is so much bigger then most people's I know, I'm so truly happy that you have become the officer you are in CA!

Continuing the Race that is mentioned in Paul's letters, to finish is to be totally in his Presence, to know that God as our Father, God as our Friend and Brother in Christ, and with the Holy Spirit in our lives we will accomplish the task given us, cause we trust in our Lord and God.

I'm starting to sort of babble so I will finish with the fact that I'm so grateful that God has given me opportunities to learn through time in relationships with others and mostly with him in the middle of those relationships.

stupid network

2006-08-13T13:28:00.000-04:00

We have this network at opc, and lately it has been bouncing in and out so its not always working, and when its not working the internet doesn't work, therefore my last blog posted twice cause of the bouncing effect, also I can't get saved files off the network, so its been frustrating to finish work on the programs which need to be finished by Sept.
Anywhoo, today is a day of rest, so I will go rest , maybe fish, and then swim.
chow for now.

cleaning feet

2006-08-11T20:40:00.000-04:00

You know , the more I do this Blog stuff the more I learn, yet using computers is frustrating at times if not complicated , especially when working on our network at work, that doesn't always work, so if its not working how do I get my work done? Lots of work using the word work.

enough about that, I am amazed at God's way of bringing us into relationship with Him, he does it through people and through events all the time. Here at work , I have been spending many hours in housekeeping , cleaning the toilet bowls and showers at camp, and through it, three things have been constant, one, no matter how many times you clean, some one comes in and wham its dirty again. Two, through the process of cleaning, keeping the mind clear of not thinking about what I'm cleaning, I spend alot of time singing, mostly worship tunes, praising God, and in that process I've had alot of conversations with the random people (both campers and volunteer staff) who walk by, or come in while I'm cleaning. So we talk about God and about service, then they ask , how can you do this job all the time.... I ask myself that all the time.....
My answer, I think about Jesus washing the Disciples feet, If my Lord can get down on his hands and knees and wash crap off of peoples feet, then I can wash the crap off of toilets.
Three, doing jobs that help out others who are in stressful points cause there isn't enough staff or time is....well its using my time to help out, to serve others, to Love them by taking some of the yolk and that is again what Jesus has done. So, we are to follow and pick up our cross.

Now, for me , some would say service, helping others I do alot, and that's likely true, yet doing it constant, especially this kinda job, its hard to get motivated , and to do that I've spent many hours in the evening after work and in the early morning, asking God, in prayer for the strength to do it again. So, alot of it has been through Him and not by me, cause if it was up to me I think I wouldn't have lasted this long.
Jumping back to the first one, just as it gets dirty, it gets clean again, on going , each time alittle easier because as it is kept clean, others try to help keep it clean. Sort of like our lives, as we walk with Jesus, at first its hard cause we just keep messing up, though the more we hang on and wrestle the more firm our foundation in our walk, and that is a testimony for others to follow.
Its all about Learning to Walk with Him and each other.

2006-08-06T22:23:00.000-04:00

Its funny, I'm working in a camp, yet everyday I do something different, well at least over the summer. Tomorrow I was supposed to cut fire wood in the morning and work at Outdoor Ed. in the afternoon revamping programs. Yet I was told today that I will be doing house keeping in the morning. Working along with an LIT who has found it hard to get motivated. I prayed while I was away, that the Lord would give me opportunities to build his Kingdom, I think i've been given one, so if you read this tonight, Sunday, or in the next couple of days, pray for me and my LIT.
I wonder if I will have to wear an apron, I hope not.

Blogs, they can run your day

2006-08-04T21:43:00.000-04:00

so, I wanted to leave a message on gray's blog, but to do so I had to create this blog, now I'm feeling convicted to start up this site as a message board, at least untill i loose the address thingy.